For the past few months, my photography has felt to me like it’s been changing, and not in a good way. I get my rolls of film back, and there are very few that jump out at me as ones I love, and that’s frustrating. There are some different reasons behind that, and I’m not sure they’re all bad, but they’re interesting to me.
One of the things I realised recently is I’m not experimenting as much as I have in the past. “Experimenting” is maybe the wrong word – maybe it’s that I’m not taking as many abstracts, or just shooting for fun. One of the reasons for that is I’m definitely feeling the pinch, financially, with camera film and processing so expensive, so I’m putting pressure on myself to make every shot count. I could use digital, but I can’t have fun with it in the same way I can with film: on one hand, it’s too clean, the images are too crisp and perfect; on the other, I get caught up in looking at the photos as they happen, whereas I can use film to get into a kind of meditative place, where I’m looking, and shooting, and not thinking about how they’ll turn out. I know, technically I could not look at my digital photos until I get home, but that’s really hard for me to do, because I know I CAN see them. I could try to work on that.
But the other thing I’ve been thinking about is how my practice has been changing.